If you have two brain cells to rub together (and by God you'd better if you have access to a computer), you've probably figured out by now that I don't take myself very seriously. That's not to say I have a neurotic self-loathing that bleeds through my every interaction, but I enjoy a good dose of self-deprecating humor as much as the next guy, even (sometimes especially) if it's coming from myself. I have confidence, though: I know my assets -- physical, mental, emotional -- and take pride in them, as any healthy individual would.
Though I didn't used to, I've come to believe it's quite unrealistic and small-minded of me to expect others to be the same way -- that is to say, to be able to laugh at themselves while remaining secure in themselves. A trend I've noticed among females my age and a little older is to compensate for their own (usually irrational) insecurities by giving out compliments that specifically target things about the other person that the complimenter herself does not possess. Something tells me I should've realized this a significant time ago -- thank you for being patient with me. (See? You see that? That was a little hit of self-deprecation, yeah, but I'm not sitting here thinking "They see me laughing and they laugh to, but all I want to do is end my fat, disgusting life on that broken windowpane" or anything. Seriously -- I'm really, super not.)
Example: I was talking once with a girl (with whom I was casual friends -- acquaintances? -- with for a bit) and she said, no joke, "I was afraid to approach you at first because you look pretty and smart and confident, so I thought you would be a total bitch." Well I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. Shall I not wash for a week, throw away all my books, and wear my fat pants to assuage your suddenly burning insecurities?
Though I didn't used to, I've come to believe it's quite unrealistic and small-minded of me to expect others to be the same way -- that is to say, to be able to laugh at themselves while remaining secure in themselves. A trend I've noticed among females my age and a little older is to compensate for their own (usually irrational) insecurities by giving out compliments that specifically target things about the other person that the complimenter herself does not possess. Something tells me I should've realized this a significant time ago -- thank you for being patient with me. (See? You see that? That was a little hit of self-deprecation, yeah, but I'm not sitting here thinking "They see me laughing and they laugh to, but all I want to do is end my fat, disgusting life on that broken windowpane" or anything. Seriously -- I'm really, super not.)
Example: I was talking once with a girl (with whom I was casual friends -- acquaintances? -- with for a bit) and she said, no joke, "I was afraid to approach you at first because you look pretty and smart and confident, so I thought you would be a total bitch." Well I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. Shall I not wash for a week, throw away all my books, and wear my fat pants to assuage your suddenly burning insecurities?
Pictured: how I visualize your "compliment."I'm not sure how one is supposed to respond to a statement like that, honestly. (I gave an awkward grimace-smile and gurgled something unintelligible, but there must be better ways to go about it.) Not to mention, the structure of the compliment, if it can be called that, is very oddly arranged -- are you saying that I am the aforementioned three things as well as being not-bitch, or because I'm not-bitch I'm not those aforementioned three things? It took me a good fourteen years to get to the point where I could accept a compliment, and now you go and throw some doozy of an I-hate-myself-and-kind-of-you-too-no-there's-no-specific-reason-why-you-just-breathe sentence at me.
It must be a "girl thing," like stuffing your bra full of chocolate malt balls at Henry's (just me? Ah, how strange middle school was), because I talk to boys about things like this and it's like their comprehension of the English language drops eighty percent within the first two minutes. (That analogy makes perfect and mildly amusing sense in my mind, but I'm wondering now if it translates as well onto paper(/computer screen). I'll just keep it.)
I can't think of a clever exit line, so I'll simply say: "Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit" (Oscar Wilde).
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