I've experienced the profound relief of realizing what little impact I have on the world.
I walk around with all these grand delusions about what my presence has wrought, so to speak.
"Oh God, she must be torn up about what I said. She'll never, ever forget."
"I hope he'll be able to get over me forgetting about our study date."
"Will that clerk ever be able to recover from my short reply to him?"
Yes. Yes, they all will. You want to know why? Because I'm a fairly insignificant part of the world as a whole.
Thank God.
I didn't fuck it it up.
Everything is going to be all right. La vie continue--I don't have to carry this around with me anymore. A weight in my chest has just dissolved, a weight I didn't even know I was carrying around with me. I'm breathing easier. The scratching guilt in the back of my mind has ceased.
What a lovely feeling, to know that my actions did not bring about such serious consequences that, in my self-absorbed worldview, I believed they did.
I didn't fuck him up.
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